Time, wait for me (tide, you carry on)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5... No, I am not showing off my counting skills here. Wondering then what it was all about? Well, take a guess as I say it a bit differently again - 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... Makes more sense? For those who are still at sea as to what I am talking of, this is how the hours fly off every night. Yes, you are right - this is how the hours have been passing every night since the beginning of time - and what's the big deal? Don't mind my incoherence, all I meant was this is how I see the hours fly off every night these days. Hold on. Before you work your brain thinking I set hourly alarms before going to bed, let me, myself, clarify. Unread whatever you have read so far. Let's begin on a clean slate - I am suffering from sleeplessness at nights and have been waking through the nights for an unbearable span of time now.

I know, I know. There is this word insomnia. However blurred my thoughts are and however fatigued I feel, I would have used this exact word if it was appropriate. It is not insomnia, which is a chronic lack of sleep. My problem is exactly what I wrote - sleeplessness at nights - with a stress on the word nights. I feel terribly sleepy at the end of it all as the sun says 'Hi' and takes over from me. And I promise you - as soon as you promise me that you are going to take care of my living expenses - that I can sleep as if dead, every day, for at least twelve hours and show it to you that it is not insomnia.

Why is it like that? Well, it is one answer I'd love to know among all others. But you don't have to come up with an explanation. I have heard so many of them by now, but unfortunately, none of them are correct. I am not jet-lagged (imagine an intercontinental jetlag spanning 7 months now) at all. Neither am I worrying myself to death about anything. World Cup fever? With India's performance, the fever has made way to hysteric bouts. And the West Indies are also out as I write this. Leave a comment if you still think you know the real reason.

Now, before you come up with the remedies, let me tell you none has worked on me and I have tried them all. Apple and milk before sleeping, going to bed early, thinking of the most pleasing memories, not sleeping one day so that it will be ok from the next day, thinking of God (I do always, and wonder what made Him choose me of all people to go through this) - the list is long. And as far as jumping sheep go, I lost count after some 17,328 or something the other night. It spoiled the entire day that followed - as I was still seeing sheep wherever I went. Whatever was edible seemed to be mutton and whatever was worn looked like wool.

It is almost 6 now, and I am getting the first signs of sleep. It was all fine till now - the time of the biggest decision of the day. If I go to sleep now (which I did for the last 2 days), I'd miss my tennis class and be late for office. If I don't then I will play bad shots and fight to keep my eyes open at work. Worse - by the time I will be back home after work, I'd lose all of the sleep and the next night will just be marginally better. The scales do not tilt and I do not know which option to go for. I know you would ask me to sleep, but you have not paid for my tennis classes and nor can I get a job in your office when they kick me out for coming late again tomorrow. So I think I will stay up for today.

All is not rotten with this illness you know. With keeping up in the nights, I do not have a problem when I am to do night shifts. I could lose around 3 kg in real quick time, too. I do not feel like eating all day long. And it's given me a great opportunity to stay in touch with my friends in the US and be immersed in music. On a final note, I have gathered so many 'mythical' causes and cures for sleeplessness now that I could write a book. (Well, I did write this post on this, didn't I?) Though am no Emperor of the days of yore, I promise to give half of the money I have to anyone who can make me sleep from 11 pm to 6 am on a daily basis.

Early to bed and early to rise
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
While, never to bed and never to rise
Makes you groggy, gives you red eyes.

First showers

It's raining for the first time this year in Hyderabad today. Too bad I am in office and cannot stand outside. Hope it keeps raining this summer to cool down the parched bodies and souls. Not too hard though, the mango produce should not get affected.

I was walking in the rain
I cannot recall where and when
But why do I want to know, again?
Since I was walking in the rain...

Play On

Last Friday was special. I always had the dream - and to watch as dreams unfold in front of your eyes is always special. Not many times in life we get the chance to be among the most privileged. I was on the said day. The ghazal maestro Ghulam Ali was to perform in Hyderabad, and there was nothing that could make me miss it. So I was there - well before time - waiting eagerly for the Master to take over as the accompanists tuned their instruments.

The sound was tested out and the evening started with his son singing two ghazals in his own composition. On a different day, I - and the crowd - might have liked them. But not on this one. People were there to listen to the God's own voice and they were not ready to settle for anything less. Soon, he took to the stage and - it seems he does not like to speak if the words are not set to tune - with a brief introduction started off with Ghalib's 'Har ek baat'. I sat awestruck for the next two and a half hours as he picked and served ten back to back gems from his endless treasure. Time stood still and all senses stood rapt in unison as Music sang itself on the stage in front.

The evening was sublime as only he could have made it. Interspersing his timeless ghazals with references about the poets, the underlying ragas and the meaning of difficult portions, the Ustad took us back to the days of poetic celebration and musical triumph. The best ghazals were presented in pure classical form - and one could never declare either words or the ragas victorius. It is this perfect blend that makes him inimitable. No one hums along in a Ghulam Ali concert, because no one knows what he is going to do next. You never know which notes in the five octaves he would use for a particular line - and that too with the same smiling face. I lose myself in trying to analyse how he manages to sing like that impromptu; ending up concluding that God has been highly partial and selfish when it came to making his own voice. So here are the songs he sang in sequence -

Har ek baat pe kehte ho ke tu kya hai
Tum hi kaho ye andaz-e-guftagu kya hai
- Mirza Ghalib

Bheed mein ek ajnabee ka saamna achha laga
Sabse chhup kar wo kisika dekhna achha laga
- Amjad Islam Amjad

Jab tasavvur mera chhupke se tujhe chhu aaye
Apni har saans se mujhko teri khusboo aaye
- Qateel Shifai

Ye baatein jhooti baatein hai, ye logo ne faylai hai
- Ibn-e-Inshaa

Ye dil ye paagal dil mera, kyun bujh gaya? Awaargi
Iss dasht mein ek shaher tha, wo kya hua? Awaargi
- Mohsin Naqvi

Mera shauq da nahin
- Punjabi ghazal translated from Ghalib's Persian ghazal.

Ni chambe diye band kaliye
- Punjabi geet

Dil mein ek laher si uthi hai abhi
Koi taazaa hawa chali hai abhi
- Nasir Qazmi

Chupke chupke raat din aansoon bahana yaad hai
Humko ab tak aashiqui ka wo zamana yaad hai
- Hasrat Mohani

Hungama hai kyun barpa thodi si jo pii lii hai
Daaka to nahi daala, chori to nahi kii hai
- Akbar Allahabadi.

As I mentioned just ten ghazals in two and a half hours and keeping the audience in awe is a feat that only Ghulam Ali can achieve. He sang each one of them perfectly - encouraging the musicians to take over in the interludes. When everyone shouted for Chupke Chupke, he calmly said 'Pehle ye suniye' and started off with the nazm 'Ye baatein jhooti baatein hai' - going to point out that it is actually a Muqaddas Ghazal, a unique form that has 5 lines to come back to the Sthaayii. And then did his usual variations of the word Laher in Dil mein ek Laher Si like only he can do. He created at least 20 waves - each different, difficult and sublimely divine. Again, you could actually visualise a lady rotating her bangle in when he sang - 'Kangan ghumana yaad hai'. When he said 'Tanhaiyaa' in Awaargi, he sounded as if he really wiped out all traces of life in front of him. He pointed out how the word 'Jahaan' is actually the start of the second line and why it is difficult to sing this couplet to convey the correct meaning of -

Logo bhala is shaher mein kaise jeeyenge hum? Jahaan
Ho jurm tanha sochna, lekin sazaa Awaargi.

All said, it was one evening that I am not going to forget.

Elixir

Gathering moments I passed the days
Alone, quiet - in the maddening crowd.
The TV and mind both kept on mute
Wordless thoughts blared in the nights.
Lullabies of the first sunrays
Brought to life, the world around.
More in trance than strength I walked
Blinded by the soothing lights.

Frivolous talks and vacuous smiles
Translated to happiness for one and all.
My self was left to but, myself
Sponging tears, lest they spread.
Yet far away - across thousand miles
Was the bloom of spring, to my wintry pall.
My spring of life, I drank unpaused
Albeit in dreams, while tossing in bed.


The pains slowly started to please
Sobs were showing up as grins
As I knew that day was close
When I'd be back to where I belong.
The fervent prayers began to cease
But hopes were kept, by all means
The Almighty showed all His might, but
Back I came to life, before long.

A single, soft hand in my hands,
A relentless heart that doubles my beats
Two more eyes to see me through
As I sleepwalk through the dunes of death.
As He looks down on the endless sands
And in a hurry flips the piles of sheets
Stopping on the page He wrote my life
To erase and re-write in bated breath.

Vivacious, Imperious, Victorious

Sir Vivian Richards turned 55 today. The most destructive batsman the world has seen, the most fearsome batsman any bowler can bowl to, the man with the most powerful presence each day he walked on to the field - you exhaust all the superlatives when you talk about this individual. We all read eulogies - but those for this dynamo always stand out. They reach the highest level of reverence, and go further to infringe the territories of worship. For, there are cricketers. And then, there is Viv Richards.




I thought of writing something for him, but then, I am not too good at overcoming my emotions. I would update this with one essay I wrote about one leader I look upto which is not currently in Unicode now. I am also compiling a document on articles and news on the great man from various websites. Reading his autobiography opened a whole new perspective on his personality. No one relates the word discipline to Viv, but - beneath his masterly swagger and legendary arrogance - it meant the most to Viv.




I end with one advertising campaign that Reebok used to run on the King in his playing days. A giant billboard with a close-up shot just read - "Also avaialable for mortals." Here's wishing you the best life has to offer, may your mind flourish in the same spirit and your physique defy your age for countless sixers to come!

A year goes by - March 2

As mentioned in my last post, today is my brother's first wedding anniversary. (Quite coincidentally, it is my dear sister-in-law's anniversary too :D)

What rendered a grand celebration impossible was around 90 degrees of longitudes between us. They presently live in the UK, which means we had to distribute the joys and celebrations evenly in three cities - Newbury, Calcutta, Hyderabad. My brother is a grand foodie who prefers to go only for the interesting cuisines (read non-vegetarian) in enviable quantities. And since the beginning of time, he always does it in style. He gets all the more rampant and 'hollow' when Maa prepares the (out of this world) chicken and mutton dishes or when he eats out. Go out with him once to know what I am saying. With such a 'broad outlook' (the twisted pun is intended), it is only apt that his wife would show so much enthusiasm to prepare what he likes. My parents in Calcutta went for a few good dishes to celebrate the occasion, we went out (read previous post to know where) but they did it in real style. The menu for the night is - crispy duck, prawn curry, stuffed salmon, chicken tikka strips and ice cream :)

He's not just about food like me though. He's among the smartest, sharpest and broadest minds around with unbelievable resilience and confidence. He's the one I look up to - especially for the last two traits.

I love my sister-in-law, she's one of the sweetest persons you can ever come across. You see less of her sharpness and more of her warmth, and instantly feel at home. Like my brother, she has immense and unquestioned faith on my abilities and I don't think both of them believe that I cannot do or fail in something. Other than cooking for my brother, she loves listening to old songs, solve jigsaw puzzles and not to forget video-chatting in skype and playing pool in yahoo with me. :) This is rather a very weak account of her but this is all you get to know when you have not stayed more than a few hours with someone and have always chatted online. Even though she does not sing much, her voice and laugh sound like music. Talking of songs, reminds me about a unique talent that could take her to Ripley's - she sings while sleeping almost every other night! Imagine the plight of my brother in the middle of the night when she suddenly breaks into, say - 'Dekh le, aankhon mein aankhein daal...'

We'd be celebrating in grand style when they come to India in April. So holding on for a month till the ambience is all food, music and laughter. Here's wishing the best in this world and beyond to two of the best around. As I wished today - 'Happy First Anniversary, let's keep counting till we lose count.' :)

Adonis wants to die

I am sure all of us are familiar with pop-ups promising out-of-the-world gifts ABSOLUTELY FREE just because we were the site's 1000000th (may vary with more number of zeros). If you do not close the window right away, you are in for an impromptu test of your patience. Same with emails claiming you have won a fortune based on a draw of lots on email ids! I get excited calls and messages from my not-so-conversant friends on such pop-ups and emails quite regularly.

So when I saw this mail in the morning about winning the Best Couple Competition for Valentine's Day, I was on my usual 'select, send to trash' routine when I gave it a second look. This one looked original with no fancy images or formatting and had names of real people. Even the mail was addressed to two real people, who happened to go out for dinner on the mentioned date. Soon I could relate 'mlc' in the sender's email id to 'Mainland China' - indeed the place we dined at. The body of the mail read, yes in ALL CAPS, thus -

CONGRATULATION ! WE ARE PROUD TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU ARE THELUCKY WINNER OF BEST COUPLE OF VALENTINE DAY OF 2007.YOU HAVE WON A GIFTVOUCHER WORTH RS 500/- WHICH YOU CAN REDEEM AT ANY OUTLET OF SPECIALITYRESTAURANT PVT.LTD (THROUGH OUT THE COUNTRY) WITHIN 13TH MARCH,2007.

Why wait till 13 March when there is so much to celebrate today? (Incidentally, this day last year my brother got married.) The food, especially the starters, were great that day and we ate to our hearts' content. An encore is on the cards tonight and I am thrilled about it. :)

I am happy to say the least. But also quite flummoxed at this newest title. Why? Well, there are two equal parts in any couple. And where one half is yours truly (and truly ugly, you bet), such a title keeps taunting in the mind. However charming my far-better-half is. If I were not myself and someone told me this, I'd be rolling on the floor by now - which is exactly what my friends are going to do.

All I can do is to thank her for always being there with me, making me a better person and sharing the joys together, even the embarrassing and ridiculous ones like this. :)