Simple Questions, But What Answers!

Whether it is an urge to talk more, or to show that we are witty, even to unwantedly display our knowledge - sometimes we really talk more than what is needed. Believe me, there are people who - if you ask them about what they are wearing - might end up telling you why Lalu Prasad is the best manager in the world. Time and again it is proved that there is a hidden Basanti in most of us.

There was this boy in my class, back in the school days. The instructions would clearly say - State whether the following statements are TRUE or FALSE. And he would go on to explain why a given statement was false. Worse, he would substantiate what was true and also mention what could have made it a false statement. So, for a question, asking whether rice would get cooked faster in a pressure cooker, there would also be an assertion that it would take more time in Darjeeling.

I keep hearing about this person in a friend's office - who is dreaded by the whole lot in the floor for his verbal assault. It is just a coincidence that his initials are AK and the postfix 47 was but a natural inclusion. Someone asked him the directions from point A to point B. And when that same friend came to my place after office that day, it took me some time to grasp why he was telling me the route to point B from at least twenty places in Hyderabad.

As always, there is a reason why I am writing this now. Of late I have heard a couple of weird answers to a very common question asked in any restaurant. Here is how two cool souls fared in bringing out their best in a seemingly commonplace situation -

Act 1

Waiter: Regular or bottled water for you Madam?

Madam (surprisingly, too cool for her 40+ years): Aquaguard water would do for me.

Act 2
Waiter: Regular or bottled water Sir?

Sir (cool, and cooler in the company of his female companions): What water do you use for cooking stuff here?

Waiter: smiles, looking confused.

Sir: I said, what water do you use for cooking?

Waiter: Regular water, sir.

Sir: So, get us that! (Turns towards his giggling companions and shrugs)

What can you tell in a situation like this? Laugh? Get angry? Or smile away? For me, on each of these occasions, the broth was not the only thing boiling in the restaurant after that. But let's not end on this vitriolic note. I just remembered something amusing in the same context which would be a fitting end to this tale. We had just settled down to eat that day. One of my very good friends thought he was going to be asked to place the order when the waiter came over and asked the same question about our preference for the water. It was too late to change the pre-meditated answer he had framed in his mind. And so, he replied - "Please give us some time, we will discuss and let you know."

I just asked her where she got her dress
Now Britannica will sell one copy less.