Time, wait for me (tide, you carry on)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5... No, I am not showing off my counting skills here. Wondering then what it was all about? Well, take a guess as I say it a bit differently again - 11, 12, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5... Makes more sense? For those who are still at sea as to what I am talking of, this is how the hours fly off every night. Yes, you are right - this is how the hours have been passing every night since the beginning of time - and what's the big deal? Don't mind my incoherence, all I meant was this is how I see the hours fly off every night these days. Hold on. Before you work your brain thinking I set hourly alarms before going to bed, let me, myself, clarify. Unread whatever you have read so far. Let's begin on a clean slate - I am suffering from sleeplessness at nights and have been waking through the nights for an unbearable span of time now.

I know, I know. There is this word insomnia. However blurred my thoughts are and however fatigued I feel, I would have used this exact word if it was appropriate. It is not insomnia, which is a chronic lack of sleep. My problem is exactly what I wrote - sleeplessness at nights - with a stress on the word nights. I feel terribly sleepy at the end of it all as the sun says 'Hi' and takes over from me. And I promise you - as soon as you promise me that you are going to take care of my living expenses - that I can sleep as if dead, every day, for at least twelve hours and show it to you that it is not insomnia.

Why is it like that? Well, it is one answer I'd love to know among all others. But you don't have to come up with an explanation. I have heard so many of them by now, but unfortunately, none of them are correct. I am not jet-lagged (imagine an intercontinental jetlag spanning 7 months now) at all. Neither am I worrying myself to death about anything. World Cup fever? With India's performance, the fever has made way to hysteric bouts. And the West Indies are also out as I write this. Leave a comment if you still think you know the real reason.

Now, before you come up with the remedies, let me tell you none has worked on me and I have tried them all. Apple and milk before sleeping, going to bed early, thinking of the most pleasing memories, not sleeping one day so that it will be ok from the next day, thinking of God (I do always, and wonder what made Him choose me of all people to go through this) - the list is long. And as far as jumping sheep go, I lost count after some 17,328 or something the other night. It spoiled the entire day that followed - as I was still seeing sheep wherever I went. Whatever was edible seemed to be mutton and whatever was worn looked like wool.

It is almost 6 now, and I am getting the first signs of sleep. It was all fine till now - the time of the biggest decision of the day. If I go to sleep now (which I did for the last 2 days), I'd miss my tennis class and be late for office. If I don't then I will play bad shots and fight to keep my eyes open at work. Worse - by the time I will be back home after work, I'd lose all of the sleep and the next night will just be marginally better. The scales do not tilt and I do not know which option to go for. I know you would ask me to sleep, but you have not paid for my tennis classes and nor can I get a job in your office when they kick me out for coming late again tomorrow. So I think I will stay up for today.

All is not rotten with this illness you know. With keeping up in the nights, I do not have a problem when I am to do night shifts. I could lose around 3 kg in real quick time, too. I do not feel like eating all day long. And it's given me a great opportunity to stay in touch with my friends in the US and be immersed in music. On a final note, I have gathered so many 'mythical' causes and cures for sleeplessness now that I could write a book. (Well, I did write this post on this, didn't I?) Though am no Emperor of the days of yore, I promise to give half of the money I have to anyone who can make me sleep from 11 pm to 6 am on a daily basis.

Early to bed and early to rise
Makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.
While, never to bed and never to rise
Makes you groggy, gives you red eyes.