A Unique Dozen

'You are not experienced enough in life, you have not seen the world.'

Someone had told me these words sometime back. Though on that day I just smiled for an answer, I thought of breaking the silence today with a few laughs. I mean, without getting into the gory details of the crimes life has committed on me, let us focus on the scenes that bring comic relief. So as to not getting into writing an epic of my experiences, I would rather introduce 12 people and their rather weird habits.

• I actually know a person who has never used shampoo in his life. It's not that he does not clean his hair - and he knows fully well that you should not use the body bar for the purpose. The secret to his healthy crop - detergent!
  
• One is a firm believer that brandy and beer taste best when had with, err, bread-butter-jam.
  
• A relative calls up for directions each time he visits our house because he actually does not remember where to look to his right in the straight road to see our house. The only place he does not ask for directions is while travelling between his home and office.
  
• An untimely and unannounced visitor - after tasting the flawless chicken curry that my mother prepared in jet-speed - showed about 1/16 of an inch on his finger before saying, "The ginger is a l-i-t-t-l-e more than what was required."
  
• The earlier mention of chicken reminds me that there is a person who actually relishes his chicken curry with milk and rice. Well, that's too much to digest!
  
• My grandfather would argue with the salesman in the sweets shop over the better bargain in taking jalebis by the count or by weight. If he was told weight, he would say count - and when the person would proceed, he would go back for weight and so on... Finally he would go for taking them by the count, and putting them on the scale just before paying for it. You had to be there to fathom the hilarity of the this act.
  
• I have a friend who is so finicky that he would not have a roti without removing every black burn from it and not have anything sweet to avoid throat pain! (He happened to be my roommate for about 2 years and I can write a book on his antics.)
  
• One of the best persons I know, this friend joined his tenth job within his 2 years of working experience. His has been a very motivating example for me, but I have not been able to emulate even 1% of what he has done.
  
• I have heard about this person who would not have her afternoon nap without smelling on to a few napthalene balls tied at the end of her saree. If some of her hosts could not provide her with them, she used to manage that day with a tin of shoe-polish.
  
• One is a kleptomaniac who would latch on to each chance of stealing/cheating. He used to remove hard drives and memory cards from the computer labs, come out of the trial room wearing a trouser under his loose cargoes, sneak out of restaurants after a hearty meal and so on. And he claims that the world has made him like that. The best artifact I saw was the pair of shoes that a groom was wearing in a wedding. Sure to be married in the Bengali way, there was no chance that he could even wear them to his own wedding :)
  
• Before buying her lenses, a friend would go idol-watching during Durga Pujas with her glasses tucked in her handbag. She would wear them only for the 30 odd seconds she actually stood in front of the idol.
  
• One friend is so aghast by the cleanliness in the USA that he has taken it on himself to hang the carrybags of his takeaway meal leftovers on the branches of the roadside trees.
  

Impact Day!

My office has one day reserved for community service. We call it Impact Day and it was yesterday. It's a daunting task for the organisers and volunteers. Imagine, close to 4000 people going for 24 different threads, each in multiple locations - the planning and execution required. It's a matter of pride as well that this puts us in the Limca Book of Records for organising an event of such proportions. It also calls for working together for a day with many colleagues whom you do not otherwise meet in office. We had to assemble in office by 8:30. There were 24 threads ranging from Road Safety, to hospital/school/old-age home/prison visits, to Aids Awareness campaigns, and so on. I had registered for 'Street to Smart' - which aims to brighten up one day in the lives of street children. My destination was Divya Disha - a home for such children in the outskirts of the city.

It was a hot day and to make it worse, the traffic in the morning was bad. But the almost 2 hours for the journey had one good side-effect: it helped us break the ice with the other members in the bus. Luckily I had two of my most energetic teammates with me, who - with their songs, drama and comments - ensured that there was never a dull moment and everyone was beaming all through.

As we reached the school, there were around 200 children seated in a neat formation. Each moment was spent in amazement, happiness and reflection as they sang, recited, danced and played. On our part we had got them slippers, bags, books, games and chocolates. There were games and prizes to be won. It was for this day that I got the chance to play football after ages. Brought back memories, when it was a regular affair to play effortlessly in the sun. 30 minutes in the field almost took my breath away. And there was one more thing that I never thought I would be doing in this life. I got to actually judge the entries in the drawing competition. (Those who know my prowess in this art, are surely on the floor by now.)

After a long time, I felt good spending the day at work - far from the air-conditioned office floor where I spend my day doing things that do not catch my fancy. Something that I am stuck with because I have never known things that I'd love doing and have always flown with the tide. Overall, it was a great day to spend.

One such day in a year is definitely nothing to really make an impact on our society, but it surely makes an impact on you that is powerful enough if you decide to take it forward on your own.

My First Sub

It is not that I had never had at Subway before, but that was in India where you hardly find any person other than those behind the counter. I could take my own time and customize my order as well. Still, I did not like what I had that time and could not correlate the word cold with sandwich while paying so much. Anyways, seeing the long queues at the nearby Subway joint everyday, I thought of trying to see if this was any different.

The first difference - Fast Food queues should move real fast. And so, even though I was around twenty odd in the line, it was hardly 3 minutes before I was to order - fully undecided about my order. The fast movement of the queue was apparent from the fact that 6 people were behind the counter. Your bread travels from one to the next till it becomes a sandwich and you pay to the last person.

The first person asked what type of bread. I replied - "I don't need." :D (He had pointed to a chart that had all the bread varieties, but the only thing I read was, add a delicious garlic bread to your subway meal.) Then he said, "How can I make it without the bread?" Finally I said I wanted the first bread type.

The bread passed on to the next person.

She said - Cheese? My reply - "No, thanks". That would have meant paying extra, you know. But on quickly running my eyes on the board I found no mention of paying extra for cheese. But it was already too late.

The bread passed on to the next person and I could not understand what she did other than passing it on. The next person gave me a look and I could understand she was expecting me to say something, but did not understand what. Finally she said - "What all you need?" Did not get her accent and thought she said something else. So I replied - "yes, fine." She said, pointing - "WHAT ALL? Lettuce? Tomato?" I got the point and continued - "Onion, ummm.. yes that's all." Then realised what all I should have said when the girl behind me replied to the same question - "Lettuce, tomato, onion, carrot, cabbage, pickle, jalapeno, olive…" I realised what I had missed because mine was already packed. And then came further grief when I heard the girl continue - "yes, mayonnaise, mustard, yes a little bit…."

The bread passed on to the next person who billed it and said enjoy your Sub! Enjoy I did!

Afterall, I unknowingly removed some extra calories from what they claim to already reduce. And, like the calories, I had taken away most of the taste out of what little it was supposed to have.