7 Sure Signs

I know I am in -

1) Calcutta when I -

• feel happy for no special reason the moment I land.
• overhear a banter or a 'special comment' within an hour of reaching. Hear someone voicing out his support for Bengal and it's heritage - with all examples in past and future tenses.
• start sneezing and have itching eyes, whatever time of the year it is.
• have more sweets in the first few hours than what I had the month before. And by the time I return I have more than what I will have in six months to come.
• go to any random Phuckawala with full confidence that I will return fully satisfied.
• surely get back at least one 25 p coin the first day I go out.
• sweat and acquire that special sooty look on my already-repelling face.

2) Hyderabad when I -

• am making the stupidest comments and cracking poorest jokes imaginable all through the day, only to be replied with some highly competitive ones.
• wonder at the end of every working day what I really did all day in office. My checklist stays unaltered but the calendar keeps moving.
• look the other way when my companions are eating Paanipuri.
• am watching movies at an average rate of 4-5 a month.
• hear the loudest possible songs whenever I step in an auto - the female voice shrieking louder and coarser than you can imagine, the male voice trying to sound cool and putting on a funny accent.
• feel my life is easy - somewhat in tune with my laidback attitude.
• regularly overhear megastar Chiranjeevi is the best of them all, and that all hit Tamil movies are remakes of original Telugu movies, and all Telugu remakes of Tamil movies are better than the original.

3) Chennai when I -

• myself start speaking broken irregular English trying to talk to people when I am out - when I know both of us know we can have a better conversation in Hindi.
• forget the existence of winterwear and feel de-hydrated as long as there is daylight.
• regularly overhear superstar Rajnikanth is the best of them all, and that all hit Telugu movies are remakes of original Tamil movies, and all Tamil remakes of Telugu movies are better than the original.
• meet people from other states who are eye-opening followers of 'eat to live and not live to eat'.
• feel like hitting the driver unconscious and running him over with his own auto whenever I hear the answer to the question 'how much?'
• am made to hear everything Tamil is the best, from the language to the heritage, films to music, actors to singers, food habits (I have actually read in newspaper that idli and curd rice are best foods for breakfast and lunch, respectively and that there is no cuisine in India that is as varied as one that comes out of a Tamil kitchen!!). This reminds me of the actual caption in 'The Hindu' under the photograph of a newly wed Salman Rushdie and Padma Lakshmi. It read something like - 'Newly weds - renowned author Salman Rushdie and supermodel and actress Padma Lakshmi - after their wedding.... Padma Lakshmi grew up as a child in Delhi with her grandparents (so and so) who are now settled in Chennai.' This is what I call drive home a point!!
• forget everything I wrote above when I go to the beach and lose myself to the grandeur of the sea.

4) New York when I -

• sit up all night/sleep on alternate days - and hence, spend the maximum possible time online, on the phone and listening to/researching on music.
• am looking up maps and information regularly - and mostly for that one restaurant with rave reviews. (I missed quite a few, will surely make it next time.)
• am ready to go to Times Square as many times imaginable, the later it is, the better it gets.
• actually like my job.
• and people around me are at their courteous best, and smiling more than ever. Thank you-s when nothing is done, sorry when you have not done anything wrong. :)
• get bored and enjoy to the hilt on the same day.
• am in my best form of generosity - spending and tipping with no second thoughts.

These are what all that came to my mind at the moment of writing. Am sure I missed out on many more points that actually matter more to me than what I wrote.