A sense of guilt

A short note after a long break - thought of writing this down as some sort of a confession. There have been numerous instances where friends and other people I know have asked me for an opinion. Though highly varied in their content, the one common thing in all of them was that I have always given a true and honest suggestion. It makes me happy when someone remembers something I said/did that was of help to him/her. I hope I manage to be like this and make whatever little difference I can. The confession part comes now - it feels really awful when certain situations dawn on me and I do something that I would have never advised anyone else. I feel a sense of guilt thinking I do things which are not right, and do that in my senses - deliberately blurring the line that differentiates. But things really go a bit out of control at times, where one is left to choose from various evils or lose everything in choosing the solitary right. And not everyone can set an example by choosing the latter.

A Unique Dozen

'You are not experienced enough in life, you have not seen the world.'

Someone had told me these words sometime back. Though on that day I just smiled for an answer, I thought of breaking the silence today with a few laughs. I mean, without getting into the gory details of the crimes life has committed on me, let us focus on the scenes that bring comic relief. So as to not getting into writing an epic of my experiences, I would rather introduce 12 people and their rather weird habits.

• I actually know a person who has never used shampoo in his life. It's not that he does not clean his hair - and he knows fully well that you should not use the body bar for the purpose. The secret to his healthy crop - detergent!
  
• One is a firm believer that brandy and beer taste best when had with, err, bread-butter-jam.
  
• A relative calls up for directions each time he visits our house because he actually does not remember where to look to his right in the straight road to see our house. The only place he does not ask for directions is while travelling between his home and office.
  
• An untimely and unannounced visitor - after tasting the flawless chicken curry that my mother prepared in jet-speed - showed about 1/16 of an inch on his finger before saying, "The ginger is a l-i-t-t-l-e more than what was required."
  
• The earlier mention of chicken reminds me that there is a person who actually relishes his chicken curry with milk and rice. Well, that's too much to digest!
  
• My grandfather would argue with the salesman in the sweets shop over the better bargain in taking jalebis by the count or by weight. If he was told weight, he would say count - and when the person would proceed, he would go back for weight and so on... Finally he would go for taking them by the count, and putting them on the scale just before paying for it. You had to be there to fathom the hilarity of the this act.
  
• I have a friend who is so finicky that he would not have a roti without removing every black burn from it and not have anything sweet to avoid throat pain! (He happened to be my roommate for about 2 years and I can write a book on his antics.)
  
• One of the best persons I know, this friend joined his tenth job within his 2 years of working experience. His has been a very motivating example for me, but I have not been able to emulate even 1% of what he has done.
  
• I have heard about this person who would not have her afternoon nap without smelling on to a few napthalene balls tied at the end of her saree. If some of her hosts could not provide her with them, she used to manage that day with a tin of shoe-polish.
  
• One is a kleptomaniac who would latch on to each chance of stealing/cheating. He used to remove hard drives and memory cards from the computer labs, come out of the trial room wearing a trouser under his loose cargoes, sneak out of restaurants after a hearty meal and so on. And he claims that the world has made him like that. The best artifact I saw was the pair of shoes that a groom was wearing in a wedding. Sure to be married in the Bengali way, there was no chance that he could even wear them to his own wedding :)
  
• Before buying her lenses, a friend would go idol-watching during Durga Pujas with her glasses tucked in her handbag. She would wear them only for the 30 odd seconds she actually stood in front of the idol.
  
• One friend is so aghast by the cleanliness in the USA that he has taken it on himself to hang the carrybags of his takeaway meal leftovers on the branches of the roadside trees.
  

Impact Day!

My office has one day reserved for community service. We call it Impact Day and it was yesterday. It's a daunting task for the organisers and volunteers. Imagine, close to 4000 people going for 24 different threads, each in multiple locations - the planning and execution required. It's a matter of pride as well that this puts us in the Limca Book of Records for organising an event of such proportions. It also calls for working together for a day with many colleagues whom you do not otherwise meet in office. We had to assemble in office by 8:30. There were 24 threads ranging from Road Safety, to hospital/school/old-age home/prison visits, to Aids Awareness campaigns, and so on. I had registered for 'Street to Smart' - which aims to brighten up one day in the lives of street children. My destination was Divya Disha - a home for such children in the outskirts of the city.

It was a hot day and to make it worse, the traffic in the morning was bad. But the almost 2 hours for the journey had one good side-effect: it helped us break the ice with the other members in the bus. Luckily I had two of my most energetic teammates with me, who - with their songs, drama and comments - ensured that there was never a dull moment and everyone was beaming all through.

As we reached the school, there were around 200 children seated in a neat formation. Each moment was spent in amazement, happiness and reflection as they sang, recited, danced and played. On our part we had got them slippers, bags, books, games and chocolates. There were games and prizes to be won. It was for this day that I got the chance to play football after ages. Brought back memories, when it was a regular affair to play effortlessly in the sun. 30 minutes in the field almost took my breath away. And there was one more thing that I never thought I would be doing in this life. I got to actually judge the entries in the drawing competition. (Those who know my prowess in this art, are surely on the floor by now.)

After a long time, I felt good spending the day at work - far from the air-conditioned office floor where I spend my day doing things that do not catch my fancy. Something that I am stuck with because I have never known things that I'd love doing and have always flown with the tide. Overall, it was a great day to spend.

One such day in a year is definitely nothing to really make an impact on our society, but it surely makes an impact on you that is powerful enough if you decide to take it forward on your own.

Ocean's 15

If I were to single out one reason that I am logged into Orkut all day, it would be the music communities I am either a member of, or follow. There is so much to learn from really knowledgeable and passionate music lovers - what if the ratio of rants to good posts is very high? Passionate listeners, technical analysers, idol-worshippers, peace-breakers, peace-makers, fans, fanatics and fanatics dressed as critics - you find them all here. Anyways, that aside, let me come to the real reason I started writing today.

There was this thread of discussion asking for the 15 film tracks you would carry if you were to go to a desert island. (Assumptions play a major part in these discussions, else who will plan a trip to a desert island and pack!) I was thinking what would it be like if I were to actually face such a predicament. At once, I put my mind in its place by stopping it from cooking up a castaway sailor story. My practical simulation of a desert island is something where I am alone with no way to communicate to the outside world. (But where provisions and other necessities shop themselves to my home.) I would also steer clear of the Veer-Zaara angle and have a big house and natural surroundings to give me company. Something like a small cottage by the sea-shore (required to give the effect of an island).

So how would a day be like? Sleep when you are sleepy, get up when you are hungry. And since I am allowed to carry my music, I would be quite satisfied with this basic necessity as well. To round up the deal, how about a cellphone? Not bad. But still I don't think I will be able to sustain in such a setting. Afterall, even a recluse needs a society to disregard. I had once stayed for 6 straight days in a similar setting - within the confines of my one-room apartment in NY, without opening the main door even once - and the effect was quite unsettling.

And then, I think more. What is it that I am doing now? My daily routine is not much better off than that in this fictitious island. As I write this while listening to my favourite music, the world around is sleeping. And, when it bustles with activity, I am blissfully lost in my carefree slumber. I really get to talk to a lot of people all day long but what sense can be made out of all that? Most of the conversations are about the other person with a 'nothing much' when asked about my updates. What I talk all day is best described by the word 'blabbering'. And whatever is meaningful I don't speak aloud. What's the point? Where am I leading too? For the umpteenth time, I am taken over by questions that have no answer. I guess this is the ideal setting to turn a poet or writer :D

Anyways, for those who are interested and those who are not, this is the list of film tracks I would be carrying to the godforsaken island -

01. Pyaasa
02. Guide
03. Dosti
04. Ek Musafir Ek Hasina
05. Kashmir ki Kali
06. Do Badan
07. Half Ticket
08. Tere Ghar Ke Saamne
09. Baiju Bawra
10. Mere Mehboob
11. Mere Huzoor
12. Arzoo
13. Mere Humdum Mere Dost
14. Hum Dono
15. Dil Diya Dard Liya

Disclaimer: My collection of Ghulam Ali ghazals should be allowed separately.

Signs of a Degenerating Mind

Will vary from person to person. This is a first hand account.

• Whatever you think, your mind automatically puts a question mark after that.
  
• Even before you plan something, you think of alternative courses of action.
  
• You keep pondering, and then don't have an answer if someone asks what you are thinking.
  
• You are doing some work while talking on the phone, pressing it between your shoulder and ear - and a straining neck makes you realise that the conversation had ended long back.
  
• You know you need change, but don't know what.
  
• You falter in your conversation because you cannot recall words like 'sincere', 'appropriate' or 'revert'.
  
• You need a reminder for daily chores, and one more to set the reminder.
  
• Sometimes 5 days in the week pass faster than the weekend.
  
• Your chat conversations with even old friends have a 'What else?' within the first 10 lines.
  
• Your blog updates are rare, and the occasional ones all have the same label - 'Rambling'.